My former co-teacher and best friend, Jenny, and I have a belief that, whenever someone says, “How hard can it be?” it is invariably much harder than you ever imagined or hoped it would be. Whatever it is, this is always the case.
Some Common Examples of How Hard Can It Be
- Putting together easy-to-assemble furniture
- Programming your DVR
- Returning a blouse to Target with a receipt
- Finding something that is lost in a contained area
- Getting an email ready to send when you are in a hurry
- Changing batteries in a flashlight
- Locating an article you saw before on the Internet
- Helping your child with algebra homework
- Explaining to the insurance company that these are not your charges
- Checking to see if a flight is on time
- Taking toys out of plastic packaging
- Getting through an automated answering service so you can talk to a real person at a government office
- Getting a baby to sleep
The fact of the matter is, that with my magical thinking, once you have uttered these words the task WILL be harder than you ever dreamed. At least that’s what I think, and because I think it, it’s true. To me.
The same is true about writing your Internet dating profile. It seems like it should be easy, but once you’ve said those fateful words it’s not so simple at all. You find yourself worrying that maybe by being completely “out there” with yourself, you are being vulnerable or that you are eliminating the ONE PERSON you are meant to be with for the rest of your life. And at least, if you are me, it becomes worse than programming your DVR.
I think another reason for the “How Hard” phenomenon when writing my profile is that I wanted to be all things to all people. I worried that if he didn’t like me or I didn’t like him during the correspondence or (God forbid) the date, then that would just be horrible. I put a lot of stress on writing it just right.
How hard can it be?
Luckily, if you follow the guidelines and also the ones on my Facebook Group you can be empowered to get past the anxiety and worry. It may still be hard, but at least you’ll know that it isn’t as big of a deal as you might think and you can keep your sense of humor. Here are some reassurances:
1. There are many people out there looking for YOU. There may not be many single, sane people out there, but that is entirely a different story. Baby steps.
2. It’s only a date. You aren’t obligated to spend the rest of your life with this guy/girl anymore than you have to return to the same supermarket or Jiffy Lube. In and Out in a Jiffy.
3. Unlike the employees who work in Customer Service (see video below), the people on Internet dating sites are there on purpose! They want to want you!
I think I would have gone a little Rambo on these ladies, but how hard can it be to buy some make-up?
4. Most things that result in frustration (after the inevitable “how hard can it be”?) are a result of expectations. You expect the baby to sleep within four hours or the toy to come out of its packaging without causing a trip to the emergency room for stitches (silly you!), and then when your expectations aren’t met, you are disappointed. With profile writing, remember that it’s like cold calling and you’ll have to date a LOT to meet someone you really like. Don’t expect to like the first guy/girl you chat with. Or the fifty-second. Two hundred fifty first dates later, I am still as tenacious as ever.
5. But I’m also very, very good at it. I can construct an online dating profile to elicit the response that I want. Just like with algebra, practice helps. OK, well I still have to Google inequalities, but I’m working on it. Take this, algebra!
(4 * (3/4)x) + (4 * (1/2)) = 4(3/2)
Solution: x = 4/3
How hard can it be?
copyright © 2010 Tiia Jones
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