Pour yourself a glass of wine, make a martini, and curl up with a plate of Brie and crackers. It’s time for this week’s Happy Hour Dating Dilemmas. These are real-life situations from Internet daters who have asked for help with their profiles or their online dating situation.
As is always the case, the names and identifying details are changed to protect the innocent and, sometimes, the very very guilty. My lawyers said I should tell you that. Check out other Happy Hour Dating Dilemmas here.
In looking at profile pictures on one of the online dating services, I found a guy who seems wonderful from his writing. His picture seems ok too except for one thing. He only has one picture and it’s very, very blurry. It’s hard to even tell what he looks like honestly. It’s not that I’m that concerned about looks, but I don’t know if I should be worried about this.
Glenda the Good Witch
Tiia’s Internet Dating Rule #20 says: “Do not, under any circumstances, date anyone without a picture on their profile. It’s better if they have several and highly recommended that they aren’t grainy as if they are really old. People use old pictures all of the time.”
While this guy at least has a picture, which is good, the fact that it is that fuzzy does not bode well. There are only a few reasons for this and they are below:
- There is some reason he does not want to use a real, updated picture of himself like he is actually a woman or a quadriplegic (both of which either happened to me or to someone I know).
- He does not own a digital camera or camera phone because he lives in a trailer home in West Virginia where he is currently running an extension cord from his neighbor’s trailer to provide himself with power. He is corresponding with you from the computers at the public library. His mother and father are first cousins.
- He is a spy for Turkmenistan (I don’t have anything against the Turkmenistanians, but I think they have a funny country name and you should see their national bird) which prevents him from revealing his true identity. He will kill you immediately after engaging in coitus.
- Or he may simply be embarrassed of his appearance because he wants to make himself appear younger, better looking, or more masculine than he really is.
In all of these cases, well except for the Turkmenistanian, what I never understand is what they think is going to happen when you meet them. Do they think you are going to be so dazzled by their keen intellect and witty repartee that you would completely overlook the fact that they not only lied about a key part of their profile but also misled you into thinking your were meeting a different person altogether?
I recommend that you steer clear of him. It has nowhere to go that is good. Unless you like West Virginia or Turkmenistan.
And on that note, I had to include this little funny from a North Carolina (not a West Virginia, lest you think I only make fun of West Virginians) newspaper for you!
How many dating sites do you recommend that I belong to? There are so many out there, and I just don’t know how to pick which ones are the best. There are sites that match your personality, your religion, your sexual preference—even if you’re a vegetarian! For one thing, doing online dating takes a great deal of time and I’m a single mom. How do I know which ones are the best.
Girl Working in a Guy’s World
Dear Brave New Girl in a Brave New World,
You’re right, it’s crazy out there! I recently saw a site for Cougars and also one specifically for Booty Calls. There is also one aimed at people who want to be celibate (I’m guessing they don’t have a lot of takers but whatever).
Anyhoo…here’s what I think. It used to be that the free ones were pretty sucky. That is no longer the case. However, read the reviews and look at how many subscribers there are before you join any site. As you have noticed, there is a great deal of work involved in joining and maintaining an Internet dating site—at least if you are going to do it effectively. And remember, you need to treat this like it is a job hunt process.
You might want to start with just one, a major one, that matches your social and sexual wants. Each has its own “flavor” so you don’t join Adult Friend Finder if you have conservative relationship values but you don’t join EHarmony if you’re like me and you are a little on the more martini drinking side of things. You do your homework before interviewing with a company for a job, so do a little research at the beginning of this process. It will pay off and save you more time for more red wine.
I also have a couple of resource articles that should help:
copyright © 2010 Tiia Jones
Wal Mart Quote courtesy of: http://hiphappy.wordpress.com/2008/05/25/rednecks-over/